Holidays. And what do people do on holidays? They eat. They eat all the time. And I sadly admit that I am one of those miserable people. It was so hard to survive christmas, ofcourse I couldn't resist the delicious meals and deserts. And now I feel bad. Why do I always eat like an animal on christmas? I have to stick to my plan and I have to loose weight. But it is so hard and sometimes I feel too weak and when I feel weak I eat.
There's this awful thing I do - when I am loneley and sad, I try to fill the emptiness in my heart with food, but it doesn't help, it makes me feel worse. And lateley I have been feeling like that a lot.
And it's all just because I have major problems in my personal life. If I was happy, it would be a whole different story. Then I wouldn't have this blog. But since I can't see happiness in the near future, I keep living in the past. And reality is just too hard for me to bare.
I have battles to win. I have secrets to share. I have a disorder.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Who I am and who I wanna be
I have finally decided to start this blog. This is my third blog, but this one will be dedicated to weightloss, not my personal thoughts about things.
I don't want to call it a pro ana or pro mia blog, I'll just stick with "weight loss blog". I have had ana & mia experience and there was a time when all that was left of me was skin and bones. But now I have gained weight. I want to get it off of me, I feel sick even from looking in the mirror. Everyone tells me I am not normal, that there is a problem in my head, that I'm too thin. You know what? They all lie! This blog is a new years promise to myself. I want to be thin again. And I am gonna be thin.
My bio:
Gender: Male (yes, male!)
Age: 18
Weiht: 64,7
Perfect weight: 59
I have to loose: 5,7kg
Height: 177
Likes: Music, books, rain, blogs, tea, night, strangers, kissing, sex, holding hands, being loved.
Hates: Being alone, not being loved, cold, being cold, stupid people.
I am a very copmlicated person. My life has changed a lot in the last couple of months and now I just don't know how to fix things, so I'm gonna start over. This is a new beginning.
And now some thinspo which I desperatley need.:
I don't want to call it a pro ana or pro mia blog, I'll just stick with "weight loss blog". I have had ana & mia experience and there was a time when all that was left of me was skin and bones. But now I have gained weight. I want to get it off of me, I feel sick even from looking in the mirror. Everyone tells me I am not normal, that there is a problem in my head, that I'm too thin. You know what? They all lie! This blog is a new years promise to myself. I want to be thin again. And I am gonna be thin.
My bio:
Gender: Male (yes, male!)
Age: 18
Weiht: 64,7
Perfect weight: 59
I have to loose: 5,7kg
Height: 177
Likes: Music, books, rain, blogs, tea, night, strangers, kissing, sex, holding hands, being loved.
Hates: Being alone, not being loved, cold, being cold, stupid people.
I am a very copmlicated person. My life has changed a lot in the last couple of months and now I just don't know how to fix things, so I'm gonna start over. This is a new beginning.
And now some thinspo which I desperatley need.:
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